Now that's sorted let's get on with the important stuff.
A quick aside before I begin though - am I the only one in awe of the plumbers looking for Bingle's engagement ring? A metal detector? Really? A plumber has one of those on hand? As I said. In. Awe. Let's hope they also find Lara's dignity. Think that might be lodged in the s-bend also.
But enough oxygen has already been spent on those two so on to matters of more import - the Logies. Yes, Australian television's night of nights. In particular the shock announcement of the host for the 2010 shindig: Bert Newton. Well blow me down and call me Shirley, I couldn't see that coming. Not since Brutus was invited to present at Caesars funeral has a more left field appointment been made (sorry cheek that's just my tongue poking you). Really? Bert? Although he is an honourable man.
Look I love the guy but love him for what he used to be. A better foil there has never been. But apart from being wheeled out to host 20 to 1 every now and again (remind me to post about this one day - in particular my genius idea of a 20 to 1 of my favourite 20 to 1s - ratings gold I tell you. Ratings gold) his career jumped the shark about the same time he called Mohammed Ali "Boy" while hosting this very event. Ali was of course in attendance on that occasion in support of his nomination in the Best New What the Fuck am I doing at the Australian Television Industry Awards Night? Category. Incidentally, up for the award this time around are John Mayer and Susan Boyle. I am secretly hoping a late push from the viewers of TV week will see Lady Gaga also nominated for this prestigious category. Gaga and Boyle singing a duet of Wild Horses with Mayer on guitar would be television history in the making. But I digress...
Having Bert host the logies is symptomatic of the state of television in this country. You see it manifest in the endless cop dramas. You see it in the same faces appearing over and over on our screens. You see it in shows like Hey Hey It's Saturday (screened on Wednesday) that have no place outside of nostalgia being given new life. You see it in Daryl being miffed at missing a Gold Logie nomination (although maybe that is a sign things are on the up...?). And what is it that you're seeing? A distinct lack of ideas. But even more worrying is it isn't due to a real lack of ideas but rather a lack of balls from commissioning editors and programmers. Cause the ideas are out there. I should know - I've just made one (yes yes - I am shit hot now back the fuck up and stop looking in my eyes).
Look it isn't Bert's fault. It's just a lack of imagination. LCD stuff. The problem is it just makes the logies feel...well...like a nostalgia trip rather than a fresh, modern awards night. But maybe that's just what has happened to all award shows. I mean apart from the red carpet does anyone even care who wins these things any more? Probably not. After all it is basically just an industry night. Kind of like the Financial Planners Association of Australia Awards night, just with better looking people. Who you kind of recognise from the tele. So Bert - if you're reading this, no hard feelings, I still love ya. And to all those programmers - I'm not really having a go. Really I'm not. Just
*Shameless plug alert* I ROCK coming to ABC2 soon. Of course it all changes when we get nominated for a logie. Trust me. I am shallow.
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